My 7-Year-Old’s OSHA Complaint
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My daughter is only seven, but she’s already worked the worst job in the world.
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I started writing down my life goals and it turned out to be a list of places where I want to nap, but haven’t yet
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) February 12, 2018
Writing about parenting, fatherhood, life, and all things ambiguous
I Almost Survived Volunteering at the School Book Fair Without Having an Existential Crisis
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I didn’t know if I’d be able to write this week because I was so busy volunteering at the elementary school Book Fair.
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Skate Night Is Back and It's Still Gloriously Chaotic
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The beginning of each school year brings with it the return of many familiar rituals and events, but perhaps none is more important than Elementary School Skate Night.
Read MoreThe Indignity of Using an Umbrella in the Sun
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I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it’s been hot lately. Like, obscenely hot.
I’m a Florida native so heat and humidity are as natural to me as a lizard crawling across my toes or a frog hanging out on the wall of my kids’ bedroom, but this year the heat has just been… different.
Read MoreWhat This Messed Up Start to the School Year Needed Was a Little Hoppiness
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The past few weeks around these parts have been rough. Just a couple of months ago, there was hope that this school year would be better than last. Nope. It’s remarkably worse.
Read MoreIf You’re Struggling With Homeschooling a Preschooler, You’re Not Alone
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According to UNICEF, at least 40 million preschool children worldwide have missed out on early education because of COVID-19. This is a staggering statistic, but while I was searching for information on how missing preschool could affect a child’s development, I could not find any data on how many would-be preschoolers have started naming letters of the alphabet “Jeff.”
Read MoreHow Emptying Sand Out of My Son’s Shoes Signals a Return to “Normal”
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I picked up my first grader’s shoes one afternoon and sand spilled out of them all over the wood floors of our living room.
Read MoreMy Little Flock Flies in Formation
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It was a strange winter break in the Knott household for several reasons I can’t really get into on the internet. There was the pandemic, of course, that limited our normal holiday festivities, but more unexpected events made the two weeks off school even more unusual.
Read MoreFine, I’ll Write About Distance Learning Again
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I’ve resisted writing much of anything the past couple of months because I knew if I was going to write anything during this impossible time, it was probably going to be about distance learning. And who really wants to read one more word about that?
Read MoreMy Children Won't Be Returning to School in 2020
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This pandemic is impossible for everyone, but I’m starting to believe the only way to maintain some semblance of sanity is to change our timelines and expectations. Living week to week or month to month is exhausting.
Read MoreWhen Writing Starts to Feel Like Homework
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Homework has been the bane of my existence lately.
My oldest child is in second grade, which is still very young, but his homework load is starting to increase. As far as I’m concerned, the amount of homework he gets is very reasonable for his age. He only has one fairly short task to complete each day during the school week and the entire packet is turned in on Friday so there’s time to catch up if he wants to skip a day.
Read MoreHow to Master School Car Line Drop-Off and Establish Dominance Over Your Fellow Parents
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If you’re reading this now and you have a school-aged child, it’s too late. Way too late. Hopefully you have a newborn. If so, it’s time to get to work.
Read MoreWhy Dads Should Volunteer at Their Children’s School
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I won’t generalize based on ten or so days of volunteering; I’m sure there are tons of dads out there volunteering their hearts out. Probably a lot more than I am. But at the risk of being didactic, I have a message for my fellow dads who haven’t tried on their school volunteer badge yet: Sign up to volunteer at your children’s school!
Read MoreMy 3-Year-Old Can Make the Moon Move
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“Daddy! Come look! The moon looks like a banana!”
My 5-year-old was very excited. Me? Not so much. It was just past seven in the morning, we’d been up since just after six, and we needed to get to school. The second training session of the elementary school running club was that morning, so we had to be at school even earlier than usual. School starts at a soul-suckingly early time every day, but I was willing to get moving before dawn because running club is that important.
Read MoreSometimes Back-to-School Isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be
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For stay-at-home parents, no day on the calendar is more important than the first day of school. Sure, holidays are cool (I’m particularly partial to National Coffee Day), and birthdays are fine and good, but the day my children start back to school is the one I circle in red ink.
Read MoreHow Many Dishwasher Cycles and Car Line Drop-Offs Make Up a Life?
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We got a new dishwasher recently. That might not sound like a monumental event worth recording for posterity, but…wait, who am I kidding?
If getting a new dishwasher isn’t a life-changing event, I don’t know what is.
Read MoreThe Miracle of Petty Competition
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The start of first grade for my oldest child has brought something new to my life. The Class Dojo app.
Read MoreA Different Kind of First Day
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This year’s first day of school felt different. Perhaps it was because of our three first days so far it was the only one that had no true firsts. No one was starting school for the very first time or starting at a school we didn’t know.
Read MoreAnd Then There Was One
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My 3-year-old, Bennett, started school Monday. It came suddenly. I returned from my trip to New Orleans and the next day we were walking him into school with his Paw Patrol backpack resting on his little shoulders. It was the same building where we dropped Jacob off for the first time two whole years ago. When we left Jacob the first day, he was fine until the moment of separation and then there were heavy tears. The teacher held him so we could get out of the building. With Bennett, it was more subdued.
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