I Had the Weirdest Job Interview Ever
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I’ve been a stay-at-home dad for more than a decade, and I have to admit that trying to reenter the job market after so long has been even more daunting than I expected.
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I started writing down my life goals and it turned out to be a list of places where I want to nap, but haven’t yet
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) February 12, 2018
Writing about parenting, fatherhood, life, and all things ambiguous
My 7-Year-Old’s OSHA Complaint
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My daughter is only seven, but she’s already worked the worst job in the world.
Read MoreReport: 8-Year-Old Shocked to Learn Local Dad Knows the Song “Love Story” by Taylor Swift
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Orlando, FL — The sky was slate gray and there was a slight chill in the air on the Thursday afternoon when a young girl’s world was turned upside down.
Read MoreHow My Poor Eyesight Entertains the Masses and Mortifies an Optical Store Clerk
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I left my eyeglasses at a La Quinta Inn in Fort Lauderdale.
Read MoreThe World is a Trash Heap So It Might Be Time to Break My Most Sacrosanct Internet Rule
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I’ve been existing online for almost two decades now and during that time I’ve had one hard and fast rule. One binding commandment I swore I’d never break. That guiding principle: Under no circumstances will I ever post feet pics on the internet.
Read MoreIt’s October So I Guess It’s Time to Wake Up
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Here’s a fun fact about me: Green Day song lyrics and melodies occupy about 37 percent of my brain. Sometimes more depending on my mood and the time of year.
Read MoreI Almost Survived Volunteering at the School Book Fair Without Having an Existential Crisis
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I didn’t know if I’d be able to write this week because I was so busy volunteering at the elementary school Book Fair.
Read MoreYouTube Taught Me That My Life’s Passion is Changing Bicycle Tires
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I’ve been really getting into bicycle repair lately.
It’s probably my number one passion if you don’t count nagging my kids to do their homework.
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Skate Night Is Back and It's Still Gloriously Chaotic
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The beginning of each school year brings with it the return of many familiar rituals and events, but perhaps none is more important than Elementary School Skate Night.
Read MoreThis One Time at Band Camp
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My oldest child is in sixth grade this year, which means he has moved up from the cozy and comfortable elementary school that is decorated floor to ceiling with ladybugs to the more utilitarian and intimidating middle school that looks like a cross between a small community college and a correctional facility.
Read MoreThe Indignity of Using an Umbrella in the Sun
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I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it’s been hot lately. Like, obscenely hot.
I’m a Florida native so heat and humidity are as natural to me as a lizard crawling across my toes or a frog hanging out on the wall of my kids’ bedroom, but this year the heat has just been… different.
Read MoreSchool is Back… Now What?
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My kids returned to school today. This seems to happen every year and I somehow never really get used to it. It’s like one day they’re here and the next they’re gone… well, for five or six hours at least.
Read MoreBreaking Curfew with Illegal Fireworks and Other Beach Adventures: Part 3 of a Summer Vacation Diary
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July Fourth. Independence Day. Fireworks Day (as my kids typically call it). No matter what name you prefer, this is a day that I often feel conflicted about.
Read MoreI Completely Botched the Surf Report and Other Musings from the Beach: Part 2 of a Summer Vacation Diary
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The first day of July brought with it our first full beach day. It was a Saturday of a holiday week, so the beach was probably very crowded.
Read MoreI Went to Buc-ee’s and the Beaver Made Me Leave My Soul Behind so My Body Could Walk Free
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Day 1 (pretty sure about this one) — June 29
Thursday was our first travel day. Our plan was to drive from central Florida to Savannah because we couldn’t get into the beach place until Friday, and we didn’t want to drive the full distance in one day because our kids hate the car.
Read MoreI Never Expected I’d Become a Plastic Straw Kleptomaniac
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A slippery slope to a surprising compulsion
Read MoreCongratulations to All the Participants but I Have Once Again Won the Colonoscopy Contest
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I suppose, considering my age and station in life, it was inevitable that I would eventually make the transition from “guy who writes about parenting” to “guy who writes about having a colonoscopy.” Well, at long last, here we are.
Read MoreHow to Fill the Space When Children Grow Up and Artificial Intelligence Takes Over
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I drove up to our local park one morning recently when my kids were all at school. This park with the playground tucked away in the back corner by the lake is where I spent countless hours with my children in what is slowly but surely starting to feel like a different lifetime.
Read MoreDiscovering Shame and Regret at the Bottom of a Popcorn Chicken Container in a Grocery Store Hot Case
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So, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up my chihuahua’s viagra prescription (it’s for his heart condition, to be clear).
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