Party of Five

So far, so good. About a week into this third child thing and everything is going pretty okay. Perhaps the best part, which I stupidly didn’t even think about until the new baby arrived, is that I can now refer to our family as a party of five. This is really great for one reason and one reason only. Party of Five is one of my all-time favorite television shows and I’ve been really sad for the past sixteen years since it was canceled. I guess you could say this new family nickname is the first step in my healing process. It feels good.

Anyway, like I said, we’re settling into our new reality nicely. Sure, there is the panic and dread and anxiety and everything, but that’s to be expected. We even took our first trip out of the house as a party of five the other day. I mean, if you have three kids under the age of five, I wouldn’t recommend that you ever leave the house together as a group, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

On this occasion, the newborn, Olivia, had her first doctor’s appointment. Luckily, we had an accommodating, very helpful, and maybe slightly masochistic friend (Thanks Lesley!) willing to watch the boys, but we still had to get them there. So into the car we piled.



Maybe it was the drive or the heat or the cramped quarters, but Olivia quickly graced us with the first full-fledged, inconsolable crying fit of her life. No worries though, our 4-year-old, Jacob, had it figured out.

Jacob: Maybe she’s crying because she doesn’t want to be a girl?

Me: Oh no, which one of you told her about the patriarchy already?!?

Jacob: What?

Me: Never mind.

Jacob: Never mind what?

Me: …

Olivia: Wahhhhhhh!

Jacob: Maybe she’s crying because she doesn’t want to be a baby.

Me: That’s it.

Next, our 2-year-old, Bennett, decided that serenading the baby with Happy Birthday was clearly what the situation called for.

Bennett: Happy Birthday...

Jacob: To you…

Olivia: Wahhhhhhh!

Finally, Bennett decided to comfort her with some gentle pokes to the head.

Jacob: Bennett is feeling the baby!

Mommy: Be gentle, Bennett.

Bennett: I’m not!

Me: Knott word play. Nice. I see what you did there.

Long story short, we managed to drop off the boys, soothe crying Olivia, and make it to the doctor’s office more or less on time. After the car ride with Thing One and Thing Two back there messing with her, Olivia thought the doctor visit was a piece of cake. She was pretty drowsy the whole visit, then stayed that way for the rest of the afternoon. The ride home was much more quiet. I’m pretty confident the quiet won’t last. Parties of five tend to be kind of noisy.