A Very Frozen Florida Christmas
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There are lots of ways to celebrate Christmas and it’s typically difficult to determine if any one is better than another. There is one exception.
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I started writing down my life goals and it turned out to be a list of places where I want to nap, but haven’t yet
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) February 12, 2018
Writing about parenting, fatherhood, life, and all things ambiguous
Totally Convincing Explanations for Why the Elf on the Shelf Didn't Move Last Night
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"Is it possible that Mr. Elf did move, but then moved back to his original position because this spot is just so darn cozy? I mean, when you’re perched atop a grandfather clock with your little red legs hanging over the face, why would you ever move?”
Read MoreWhen Writing Starts to Feel Like Homework
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Homework has been the bane of my existence lately.
My oldest child is in second grade, which is still very young, but his homework load is starting to increase. As far as I’m concerned, the amount of homework he gets is very reasonable for his age. He only has one fairly short task to complete each day during the school week and the entire packet is turned in on Friday so there’s time to catch up if he wants to skip a day.
Read MoreHow to Master School Car Line Drop-Off and Establish Dominance Over Your Fellow Parents
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If you’re reading this now and you have a school-aged child, it’s too late. Way too late. Hopefully you have a newborn. If so, it’s time to get to work.
Read MoreMy Kids Just Don’t Understand How to Be Sick
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Children are great at many things. They are infinitely creative, see the wonder in even the most mundane, and can often hide in very small spaces. When it comes to being sick, however, children are terrible. At least mine are.
Read MoreIs Parenting as Hard as Being Blown Up?
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I was at the playground with my 3-year-old daughter one day recently when I was informed that parenting is harder than being hit with an improvised explosive device. I have to admit, even though I’m pretty numb because weird things happen at the playground all the time, I was a bit taken aback.
Read MoreWhy Dads Should Volunteer at Their Children’s School
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I won’t generalize based on ten or so days of volunteering; I’m sure there are tons of dads out there volunteering their hearts out. Probably a lot more than I am. But at the risk of being didactic, I have a message for my fellow dads who haven’t tried on their school volunteer badge yet: Sign up to volunteer at your children’s school!
Read MoreMy 3-Year-Old Can Make the Moon Move
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“Daddy! Come look! The moon looks like a banana!”
My 5-year-old was very excited. Me? Not so much. It was just past seven in the morning, we’d been up since just after six, and we needed to get to school. The second training session of the elementary school running club was that morning, so we had to be at school even earlier than usual. School starts at a soul-suckingly early time every day, but I was willing to get moving before dawn because running club is that important.
Read MoreIt Took Growing Up and Having Children for Me Learn to Love Halloween
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When I was a kid, I never really loved Halloween. I didn’t really like it that much either. And while I’m certainly not a Halloween fanatic now, I’ve definitely come around.
Read MoreGiving My Middle Child a Few Moments in the Spotlight Was So Worth the Effort
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All my children are experiencing a much different kind of childhood. One lived as part of a small tribe. A tribe that is peaceful and united one moment and engaged in all out civil war the next. I can only imagine how different it is to share the spotlight every day of your young life. But perhaps it is most different for my younger son, our middle child.
Read MoreParenting Slumps Can Be Spooky
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There’s no getting around it. I’m in a parenting slump. I’ve experienced such downturns before, but they are spooky every time they return. At least this time my parenting tailspin is seasonally appropriate.
Read MoreI Sign My Kids Up for Activities for Me
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I’ve come across a lot of articles recently about the dangers of overscheduling your children’s free time. And while I get it, overscheduling is not something I worry about. Sure, it’s important for children to have time for free play and to wind down from school and other structured activities, but in my experience, underscheduling can be problematic too.
Read MoreI Talked to a Stranger at the Park and I Guess I’m an Extrovert Now
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The kids and I went to the park one day recently and I met someone. Honestly, it was kind of magical. He was a grandfather with shaggy gray hair, glasses, and a mustache like a silver comb. His granddaughter was a peppy little girl with icy blond hair and bare feet which were dirty enough to suggest they had been there for a while before our arrival.
Read MoreSometimes Back-to-School Isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be
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For stay-at-home parents, no day on the calendar is more important than the first day of school. Sure, holidays are cool (I’m particularly partial to National Coffee Day), and birthdays are fine and good, but the day my children start back to school is the one I circle in red ink.
Read MoreI Write About My Children Because My Memory Is So Unreliable
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I know she won’t remember it when she’s grown, and I likely won’t either, but right now, in this moment in time, my daughter thinks I’m the funniest person in the world. Now, her brothers or her mom might argue this point, but this is my story and I am the ultimate judge.
Read MoreWhen Do I Stop Writing About My Kids?
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For parents, children growing up is always a bit confusing. You would think we would get used to it—after all, our kids get older literally every day—but it never seems to get more comfortable. Though I try to avoid it, I often look at Facebook memories, most of which feature pictures of my children, and every time I do, I feel a twinge of melancholy as I emit the contractually required “Aww.”
Read MoreWaiting for the Storm to Pass
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Another year in central Florida, another brush with a hurricane. Two years ago, Hurricane Irma crashed through and disrupted our existence for a week or so. This year, Dorian stumbled by, brushing by the coast to our east.
Read MoreTravel Back in Time and Other Next-Level Parenting Advice for Parents Who Aren't Satisfied with Good Enough
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Sleep when the baby sleeps…and at all other times
Read MoreHow Many Dishwasher Cycles and Car Line Drop-Offs Make Up a Life?
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We got a new dishwasher recently. That might not sound like a monumental event worth recording for posterity, but…wait, who am I kidding?
If getting a new dishwasher isn’t a life-changing event, I don’t know what is.
Read MoreVacationing with Kids Means Sickness Is Almost Inevitable
/For now, he sleeps. His thin, lanky body tucked under the covers. His shaggy hair matted against the pillow. Three days of endless fun came crashing down with a stomach ache that arrived slowly at first and then swooped in ferociously.
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