Remember that game I told you we like to play? The one where we try to figure out exactly what goes on at my son’s preschool based on the little nuggets of information he drops? The game is called What We Know and What We Don’t Know.
Well, don’t look now, but this week I’ve got another exciting edition for you. Actually, you should probably look. Otherwise this won’t really work at all. And you don’t want to miss this one because even if it doesn’t turn out to be exciting, it will at least be highly confounding.
My parents, me, the boys, a couple of my siblings, and a few of my nieces were sitting around the dinner table last week when someone asked my 4-year-old, Jacob, what he did at school that day. This is an okay question to ask as long as you don’t have plans for the subsequent thirty minutes and you enjoy learning a lot about preschool minutiae.
“My friend found a baby bunny on the playground. It was so little and cute!” Jacob said.
“Then one of my teachers picked it up,” he continued.
“Oh yeah,” my mom said. “What did she do? Pick it up with her hands?”
“No,” Jacob replied. “She used a shovel.”
“Oh,” we all said in unison as we exchanged concerned and knowing glances.
“She used a shovel because the bunny was sleeping,” Jacob continued.
At this point, everyone at the table reacted as follows…
“And then we put it in a box. And we left the lid open juuuust a little bit. Then they took it to the vet to get some medicine.”
At this point, everyone at the table was all like…
And even though we managed to move the conversation forward that general feeling persisted for the rest of the evening.
However, several hours later, we got home and I told my wife to ask Jacob about the bunny at school while she was getting him to bed.
When she came back downstairs after bedtime she said, “Was there supposed to be something interesting about the bunny?”
“Other than him being dead, you mean?” I asked.
“He told me after they moved him into the box with a shovel he hopped up,” she said.
Of course, when I heard this, I was all like...
I was so confused that I actually thought about asking the teacher what the real story was with the bunny, but then I thought, no, there is literally no chance I am going to do that now or at any point in the foreseeable future. I only like to engage teachers and people in general when it is absolutely necessary, like when we have something really important to discuss or I get cornered. And while this bunny situation almost got there, it didn’t quite reach the threshold of “really important” required to catapult me into That’s-It-Let’s-Interact-With-Someone Mode.
Alas, I guess we are all just left to wonder. Oh life, you are just full of unsolvable mysteries.
This has been another edition of What We Know and What We Don’t Know. Thank you for participating. Until next time...