Living With Small Children: A Series of Vignettes
/Over the past few weeks I’ve been collecting some snippets of daily life to share. Because, no matter who you are, it’s always good to remember how ridiculous living with small children is. So, without making any attempt at creating any flow or narrative arc, I’m dumping them here for your reading enjoyment (or not). You might have seen some of these on my Facebook or Twitter, but let’s be honest, no you haven’t. Also, some are more or less word-for-word accurate and others are livened up a little. You can decide which are which.
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4-year-old: “Daddy. Is the blue towel the poop towel?”
Me: …..
Me: *frantically scanning memory for clues*
4 y.o.: “Daddy! Is this the poop towel or not?”
Me: “Oh! You mean the one we change your brother’s diaper on?”
4 y.o.: “Yes.”
Me: “Gotcha. No, the blue one is not the poop towel.”
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4 y.o. (hanging upside down off the couch, head touching the floor): “I see something under couch!”
Me: “Oh yeah? What do you see?”
4 y.o.: “All my toys and a sandwich.”
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4 y.o.: “I fell down on the playground at school.”
Mommy: “Oh no. What happened?”
4 y.o.: “I cried, but Ms. Megan came and got me. She gave me a hug and I felt all better.”
Mommy: “Well, that’s good.”
4 y.o.: “So I told her all about my bath toys.”
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Me: “You guys want to go in the car and drop some clothes off at Goodwill?”
1 y.o.: *Starts taking off shirt*
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(Discussing with 4-year-old what to bring to show-and-tell. Theme: Outer Space.)
Me: “How about the little space shuttle with the outer space track?”
4 y.o.: “No, we're supposed to bring a dinosaur.”
Me: “Well, that's not exactly space themed.”
4 y.o.: “DIN-O-SAUR!”
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Me (to 4 y.o. about something, probably iPad related): “Just give it 10 minutes.”
4 y.o.: "10 comes after 6!”
Me: “Well, yes, kind of. Not directly after, but yes, that's generally accurate………What were we talking about?”
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4 y.o.: “What do you want to be when you get bigger?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
4 y.o.: “I don’t want you be anything. I’d miss you.”
Me: *Nailing it*
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4 y.o.: “What am I going to take for show-and-tell for Arctic climates?”
Me: “I don’t know. But I’m glad you guys are covering that topic now because it probably won’t be relevant in a few years.”
4 y.o.: “What?”
Me: “Never mind.”
4 y.o.: “There’s a new movie coming out with the ice and snow and there’s a dinosaur in it.”
Me: “Oh yeah?”
4 y.o.: “So, I can take a dinosaur.”