My Daughter and I Took Our Doll Show on the Road

My daughter and I finally took our doll show on the road.

It was (hopefully) a one-time only show, so I am afraid you all missed it. I’m very sorry. But, in lieu of the real thing, allow me to paint the picture for you.

A poorly dressed, undernourished, and over-caffeinated father slumps from the parking lot toward the playground carrying an assortment of cardboard boxes that appear to be loosely connected by black tape. The box contraption skims along the grassy ground because holding the other end is a girl in a shiny yellow princess dress.

If you look closely, you may notice the father looks defeated. There’s a simple explanation why. It’s because he is defeated. Comprehensively defeated. His three-year-old wanted to lug the conglomeration of boxes to the park, set them up, and play dolls in them. On the other hand, he did not want to do that.

As you already know, the father lost this argument. However, you might not know that he lost it as badly as a five-year-old would if an NBA player challenged him to a game of one-on-one and didn’t hold back. Jump shots and counter arguments and plaintive pleas were swatted in every direction with unapologetic force.

So, you can understand why he looks a bit bedraggled. Like a chihuahua after an unexpected bath.

You see the father-clump of boxes-daughter trio enter the fenced playground and position the box near the swings and then immediately reposition it on the opposite side of the playground because that is obviously the better location.

They station four dolls with outrageously unkempt hair atop the box abomination in the open-air, rooftop patio that is kind of a nice touch, actually.

If you were sitting in the pavilion by the playground like a creepy person, this is what you would’ve observed.

You would’ve also noticed that the playground was completely deserted except for the doll-playing weirdos. And boy did the weirdos take advantage of the solitude by traipsing around, freaky-haired dolls in tow.

The little girl rode the zip line and the father chased them with a doll over and over again like a mad man. Judging by the girl’s echoing laughter, she did seem to enjoy it for some reason.

They parkoured the dolls across various steps and climbing apparatuses.

They dropped dolls down the slide repeatedly.

They put all four dolls on neighboring swings and took turns pushing them until they fell face first into the mulch.

They actually didn’t use that odd-looking cardboard box contraption that much even though it was SO IMPORTANT THAT THEY BRING IT!

And when other children and parents finally arrived later in the morning, the father played it super cool.

He was all like, “What? This? It’s just a cardboard box doll house. We bring it everywhere. Where’s yours?”

He didn’t say that, of course. He just communicated it telepathically.

And it worked.

The little weirdos had a nice morning and finally wrangled the boxes and dolls back into the car before heading home to watch some girls play with dolls on YouTube.

Because really, what else would one want to do on a fine late winter day? Take some taped-up cardboard boxes and dolls to the park to play with them in front of everyone?

Come on. That would be downright silly.


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