The Chaotic Loneliness of Parenting
/It's a bit of a paradox, really.
Read MoreWriting about parenting, fatherhood, life, and all things ambiguous
I Had COVID and Also Fell Down the Stairs
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This is clickbait, but also factually accurate.
Read MoreTrying to Find Small Adventures to Keep Us Sane
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Most days distance learning is an unbearable slog, but some days it is an unbearable slog with geocaching at the end.
Read MoreTotally Convincing Explanations for Why the Elf on the Shelf Didn't Move Last Night
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"Is it possible that Mr. Elf did move, but then moved back to his original position because this spot is just so darn cozy? I mean, when you’re perched atop a grandfather clock with your little red legs hanging over the face, why would you ever move?”
Read MoreMy Kids Just Don’t Understand How to Be Sick
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Children are great at many things. They are infinitely creative, see the wonder in even the most mundane, and can often hide in very small spaces. When it comes to being sick, however, children are terrible. At least mine are.
Read MoreIs Parenting as Hard as Being Blown Up?
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I was at the playground with my 3-year-old daughter one day recently when I was informed that parenting is harder than being hit with an improvised explosive device. I have to admit, even though I’m pretty numb because weird things happen at the playground all the time, I was a bit taken aback.
Read MoreShow-and-Tell? More Like Show-and-Dominate.
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For most families, preschool show-and-tell is an afterthought. Typically, the children at our school bring an assortment of seemingly random toys and items that might or might not have any connection to the weekly themes. For our family, show-and-tell is also an afterthought, but a very competitive one.
Read MoreThe Rock
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There’s this game my two sons love to play every time they get out of the shower or bath. And, to be clear, I am using “game” in the loosest most 3- and 5-year-old sense of the word. Parental torture activity is another term I could use. I’m not sure when or how it started exactly, but as is often the case with kids, it quickly became an indispensable ritual.
Read MoreJanuary Round-Up
/As we reach the end of the first week of our new nightmare reality, why not take a few moments to click on these links and read some things I wrote this month elsewhere on the internet. If you haven't read them yet, that is, or even if you have. You know you want to...
Father "Kind of Bummed" He Didn't Receive Praise From Strangers While Shopping With His Children - MockMom
6 Parenting New Year's Resolutions You're Sure to Break by 9:30 A.M. on January 1st - MockMom
How to Get Your Baby Started on Solid Foods in 10 Easy Steps - Parent.co
The Cover Letter of a Fox Applying for the Job of Hen House Guard - Robot Butt
I Fully Support This Active Volcano in My Neighborhood Because I Think We Need Change - Robot Butt
5-Year-Old Thinks Poop Joke is Hilarious - MockMom
Golden Globes "In Memoriam" Tribute Rumored to be 30-Minutes Long - MockMom (Joke is on me for this one. Turns out the Golden Globes don't even have an in memoriam. Oops.)
In the spring of 2019, less than a year before the world shut down, my wife, three kids, and I took a spring break trip from our home in Florida to the UK. Michelle and I traveled quite a bit before we had kids, including a 10-month stay in Cambridge, where I completed a one-year master’s program. Since having kids, we’ve rarely left the house, let alone the country.