Two Days and Nights in San Antonio
/I was walking towards the Alamo on a warm February night in San Antonio thinking about horses that pull carriages, as one does.
Read MoreI was walking towards the Alamo on a warm February night in San Antonio thinking about horses that pull carriages, as one does.
Read MoreI decided to take my two boys (two and four years old) to Disney World by myself because I am an idiot. I mean, the original plan wasn’t so dumb, but the ultimate outcome was just stupid.
Read MoreI don’t know about you, but there are few things I love more than Sofia the First.
Sometimes we’ll be watching an old episode and my four-year-old will lose interest. He’ll start jumping off the couch or whatever. Even worse, sometimes he wants me to do something else with him before the episode is over. He’ll be all like, “Daddy, Daddy! Let’s pretend you think I’m in the TV.” Meanwhile, I’m like, “Dude, chill. We can pretend you’re trapped inside the TV for the two thousandth time today in a few minutes. Right now I need to find out if Sofia and her pathetic horse Minimus are going to overcome incredibly long odds––like the Sixers wining the NBA championship type of odds––to win this flying horse derby thing and in the process if that little jerk Prince Hugo is going to get his comeuppance.”
Read MoreNothing quite compares to that moment when my haircut is just complete and my classic 2-3-4-5 clipper guard smooth fade has achieved that unparalleled state of perfection. There I am, standing in front of my bathroom mirror, electric clippers in hand, tiny pieces of hair sticking to my shoulders, tufts of curly hair littering the bathroom floor, and I’m like, “Andrew, you did it again. Nailed it.”
Read MoreI got caught up in one of Jacob’s imagination games the other day. This happens at some point every day, but this one was particularly informative. The game this time was jail. I’m not sure where he learned about the concept of jail, but since 90% of his knowledge is derived from Disney Jr. shows, it’s a relatively safe bet it came from somewhere on there. That being said, my money is on Sheriff Callie.
Read MoreBecause there seems to be a fair amount of confusion about what two small children and a father could possibly do all day without a mother around, I wanted to take this opportunity to offer a peak behind the curtain at our typical day. Full disclosure: In true reality TV fashion, some of the events portrayed here may have been compiled from several days to produce a smoother and more enthralling narrative, a very small portion may have been exaggerated, and an even smaller portion may have been totally made up. But, I promise, at least 87% of what follows is true and accurate.
Read MoreI’m going to keep this one casual because I feel like our relationship is strong enough to handle a little unfiltered, old-school blogging! My kids were on Spring Break last week. It’s hard to believe we’re three-quarters of the way through another school year. Time sure does fly, and empires sure do crumble right before our eyes, etc.
My children have had many long, elaborate, and often incomprehensible bedtime routines. I’ve written about these rituals several times because this nightly production has been a pillar of my existence for over a decade. It takes up a lot of space in my head and sometimes causes a fair amount of stiffness in my lower back.
I was sitting by myself in my car in a shopping plaza parking lot, scrolling my phone for a moment before heading to my next destination when a mom and her two little kids took me back in time.
The tattoo artist worked meticulously but quickly on my knuckle tattoos as I sat hunched over in a straight-backed chair, my arm resting on a paint-splattered wooden table. It was one of those fuzzy days between Christmas and New Year’s when time ceases to have any meaning and our actions have zero consequences.
I was sitting by myself in my car in a shopping plaza parking lot, scrolling my phone for a moment before heading to my next destination when a mom and her two little kids took me back in time.
My three children stood together in the open space between the doors of a mostly empty subway car with bright eyes and big smiles.
My family discovered a new outdoor activity that helped us ward off the mid-summer malaise but after just a few days, bruises, bumps, and a broken-down car ended our fun.
My debut novel LOVE’S A DISASTER is out NOW and I have created a playlist of songs to accompany the book!
It’s the last day of school before Spring Break starts. You’ve just attended your child’s Field Day or Picnic Day or It’s Not Break Yet But It Kind Of Is Day and all that time spent under the blazing sun surrounded by 800 screaming children has made you a little punchy.
In the spring of 2019, less than a year before the world shut down, my wife, three kids, and I took a spring break trip from our home in Florida to the UK. Michelle and I traveled quite a bit before we had kids, including a 10-month stay in Cambridge, where I completed a one-year master’s program. Since having kids, we’ve rarely left the house, let alone the country.