The Losing is Bad, but the Taunting is Worse

The Losing is Bad, but the Taunting is Worse

Sure, she looks cute and innocent, but when it comes to competition, she’s cold-blooded.

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Exorcising Chuck E. Cheese Demons

Exorcising Chuck E. Cheese Demons

You might find this hard to believe, but I wasn’t a big fan of Chuck E. Cheese even when I was a kid. There was just something about it. I’m not sure what. Perhaps the fact that it’s a life-sized petri dish filled with every strain of virus and bacteria known to man? Yes, that’s probably it. Fun fact: There are a couple of bacterial strains that exist only inside Chuck E. Cheese. The “E” stands for Escherichia.

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The Art of Making My Son’s Bed Without Being Found Out

The Art of Making My Son’s Bed Without Being Found Out

Well, sure, there are many things you have to hide from your children, but making beds isn’t one of them, right? Wrong.

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What Is It That I Do Again?

What Is It That I Do Again?

I once told my therapist that one of the most difficult, or at least confusing, things about being a stay-at-home parent is that although I always feel tired and vaguely busy, it sometimes seems like I never actually accomplish anything. Like, at the end of the day, when the kids are all tucked into bed, I often have a hard time pinpointing exactly what I did to fill all the hours.

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Two Dads Converse in the Parking Lot While Dropping Their Preschoolers Off for Puppet Day

Two Dads Converse in the Parking Lot While Dropping Their Preschoolers Off for Puppet Day

[In a preschool parking lot at 8:32 a.m. on a Friday. It is an unseasonably warm morning in February.]

Dad #1: Hey.

Dad #2: Hey, how's it going?

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Life Imitates Art

Life Imitates Art

My almost 3-year-old, Bennett, was up early one morning recently. Of course, him being up early isn’t unusual; he’s almost always the first up. But this time was different because it was the first morning he felt the need to blatantly troll me while I was still half asleep.

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PRO/CON: Participating in this Ridiculous Charade of Smashing a Cake at My First Birthday Party

PRO/CON: Participating in this Ridiculous Charade of Smashing a Cake at My First Birthday Party

Pro: This cupcake icing appears to be sufficiently garish in color to stain my face, hands, and entire body neon blue for at least three weeks.

Con: I might have to take a bath later.

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Reflections on Life and Performance Art on the First Anniversary of My Birth

Reflections on Life and Performance Art on the First Anniversary of My Birth

I feel like my whole life has been but a rehearsal for this moment. All those hours spent toiling in solitude–well, as much solitude as a guy can get when there’s always a giant person chasing you around and interrupting your process–are about to pay off. It is finally my time to shine.

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