I started writing down my life goals and it turned out to be a list of places where I want to nap, but haven’t yet
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) February 12, 2018
There’s this game my two sons love to play every time they get out of the shower or bath. And, to be clear, I am using “game” in the loosest most 3- and 5-year-old sense of the word. Parental torture activity is another term I could use. I’m not sure when or how it started exactly, but as is often the case with kids, it quickly became an indispensable ritual.
Read MoreOur oldest child, Jacob, starts kindergarten next month. The public elementary school he will be attending has a Spanish immersion program in which roughly half of the school day is taught in Spanish and half in English. I was very excited when I found out about this program because I’ve always wanted my kids to master a second language. Besides having a bilingual parent, which he doesn’t, what better way to accomplish that goal than to start young? And to have it right there at his public school. Perfect.
Read MoreSummer vacation is here and you know what that means: Time to get crafty with the kids! If you’re looking for a fun and easy activity to keep your little scientist entertained during those long summer days, we have just the thing.
You will not believe how easy it is to make a fully-functional camera out of a few items you definitely have lying around your house right now. And yes, it takes real pictures! Can you say unbelievable?
Read MoreThis weekend marks my sixth Father’s Day and I can’t think of a better time to reflect on fatherhood than an arbitrary holiday created because men felt slighted that there was an arbitrary holiday created to honor mothers.
Read MoreWow. Time has flown, hasn’t it? It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a year since you joined our family. Just kidding! When you have three kids under six, every day can feel like a lifetime. I believe you’ve met your brothers, no? Right, yes. The ones that make a lot of noise. Like all the time. So yeah, you totally understand where I’m coming from.
Read MoreYou will notice that this post is a bit different than most for a couple of reasons. First, rather than sharing a story here, I am sharing a link to a story I wrote that was published last week on another site. Second, the story in question isn't all that funny and most of you won't even have access to it anyway because it's behind a paywall (bummer!).
Read More[In a preschool parking lot at 8:32 a.m. on a Friday. It is an unseasonably warm morning in February.]
Dad #1: Hey.
Dad #2: Hey, how's it going?
Read MoreWe escaped for a quick weekend trip and I left this handy baby care guide behind to make sure our 10-month-old was properly managed...
Read MoreOur middle child, Bennett, is turning three this week and I’ve been thinking a lot about the rocking chair in his bedroom. We got it from a friend a few years ago and though it was like new at the time, it is starting to show its age. The fabric is worn in some spots and it has plenty of stains, but, most importantly, it holds a lot of memories.
Read MoreBy now you’ve probably seen (and maybe forgot about) the unfortunate professor whose live interview on BBC was interrupted by his two children.
Read MoreMy almost 3-year-old, Bennett, was up early one morning recently. Of course, him being up early isn’t unusual; he’s almost always the first up. But this time was different because it was the first morning he felt the need to blatantly troll me while I was still half asleep.
Read MoreAs it turns out, parenting is mostly buying stuff in giant cardboard boxes and then making room in your house for the empty cardboard boxes to live for about a month or so. Most recently for us the boxed purchase was a red car bed for our soon-to-be 3-year-old.
Read MoreDon’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.
Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.
Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.
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Q: Do I have more (cereal/cookies/crackers)?
A: You both have exactly the same amount. I carefully counted the items and, to ensure accuracy, I weighed out each portion on this scale right here. You can rest assured that this scale is completely real. Thus, I have verified that the amount each of you has is identical in both number and total weight. *
Read MoreAs we reach the end of the first week of our new nightmare reality, why not take a few moments to click on these links and read some things I wrote this month elsewhere on the internet. If you haven't read them yet, that is, or even if you have. You know you want to...
Father "Kind of Bummed" He Didn't Receive Praise From Strangers While Shopping With His Children - MockMom
6 Parenting New Year's Resolutions You're Sure to Break by 9:30 A.M. on January 1st - MockMom
How to Get Your Baby Started on Solid Foods in 10 Easy Steps - Parent.co
The Cover Letter of a Fox Applying for the Job of Hen House Guard - Robot Butt
I Fully Support This Active Volcano in My Neighborhood Because I Think We Need Change - Robot Butt
5-Year-Old Thinks Poop Joke is Hilarious - MockMom
Golden Globes "In Memoriam" Tribute Rumored to be 30-Minutes Long - MockMom (Joke is on me for this one. Turns out the Golden Globes don't even have an in memoriam. Oops.)
What am I going to tell my three young children? How am I going to explain to them that a man who routinely peddles sexism, racism, and xenophobia was elected to our country’s highest office? What should I say when the leader of the free world mocks the disabled or brags about assaulting women? How do I teach them to be good parents when the President of the United States calls parenting women’s work? What do I say to counteract the vitriol that poisons our society, right from the very top?
Read MoreAs the Obama years come to an end, allow me a moment to reflect on the handshake that propelled President Obama’s run to the White House. The handshake was, of course, with me.
Yes, in August of 2008, the junior senator from Illinois made a campaign stop in my hometown of Titusville for some reason and he shook my hand first, right after his speech, because he knew what was up.
Read MoreA new year has arrived and you know what that means: Time to buy some new toys for your infant!
Picking out the perfect baby toy can be a real challenge because there are so many options to choose from and there is no room for error. It is critical that you select toys that will challenge your baby intellectually and are sufficiently resistant to drool.
Read MoreYes, yes, we all know by now: 2016 was the year from hell. Everyone cool died, which made us all sad at first, but then by November we were just envious of them. As we bid farewell to a difficult 2016, we can take solace in the knowledge that 2017 is likely to be much, much worse. Happy New Year!
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