I started writing down my life goals and it turned out to be a list of places where I want to nap, but haven’t yet
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) February 12, 2018
I checked the library schedule by the desk. I kind of side shuffled over all nonchalant while watching 3-year-old and 1-year-old coloring on the paper-covered table. I didn’t want the librarians to think I was up to something. Like looking at the schedule, for example.
As I suspected. Preschool Story Time was happening. And the next session started in ten minutes.
BOOM.
Read MoreWhen you have three little kids, family dinner is a much better idea in theory than in practice.
Perhaps we’re just doing it wrong and we have no control over our children—I am more than certain this is what the internet will think—but our family dinners tend to be more wild bachelor party and less Leave It To Beaver.
Read MoreAs I watched my three children — ages five, three, and one — play with and around each other in our living room on a sleepy summer afternoon, I thought about the central role sibling relationships play in imprinting indelible aspects of our selves. These relationships, our earliest and most visceral, shape how we place ourselves in the world, both in the present and future.
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Photo Credit: Michelle C Photo
My 3-year-old said his school is wrapped in wrapping paper and is flying in the sky with his friends and teachers inside. It’s scheduled to arrive in our backyard this week, where it will land and take up indefinite residence. He doesn’t know his teacher’s name, but, not to worry, she knows her name.
The school has several very large garages that house all the school buses. Importantly, it also has lots of bathrooms and toilet paper. I thought last week was an Interesting week, but this week promises to be something else.
If you love this post, I have some good news. My book, Fatherhood: Dispatches From the Early Years, is available at Amazon. And if you haven’t, don’t forget to like my Facebook page.
I once told my therapist that one of the most difficult, or at least confusing, things about being a stay-at-home parent is that although I always feel tired and vaguely busy, it sometimes seems like I never actually accomplish anything. Like, at the end of the day, when the kids are all tucked into bed, I often have a hard time pinpointing exactly what I did to fill all the hours.
Read MoreStrangely, as I’ve gotten older, my attention span has tended to decrease rather than increase. I believe this shift is largely driven by technology. I have a hard time watching a television show without checking my phone. My mind wanders easily. I’ve open and closed at least five different tabs on my computer while typing this paragraph.
Read MoreThe days before Irma’s arrival were typical for Florida under threat of hurricane. I’ve lived here all my life and if there is one thing you can count on it is that Floridians prepare for hurricanes with flamboyant zeal. It is our state’s favorite pastime. Boarding up windows, buying water and snack foods, hoarding batteries, filling up our cars and seventeen plastic containers with gas: We love that stuff! In most cases, the preparation goes to waste when the storms veer off into the Atlantic or swerve into the Gulf of Mexico. Perhaps it’s a bit macabre, but you can almost feel a whiff of disappointment in the hot, humid air when the hurricanes turn away and leave us to consume ungodly amounts of granola bars in our air-conditioned homes.
Read MoreI certainly expected that first drop-off to be more dramatic and emotional. So, after the first day was successfully in the books, I figured we were out of the woods. I was wrong.
Read MoreMy five-year-old, Jacob, is a master of sleight of hand and deception. There is nothing he enjoys more than savaging an unsuspecting mark with a brutal practical joke. Well, as long as the target is okay with it. And, even then, it’s good to take precautions to avoid any unnecessary mess or inconvenience. It’s important to take a paper towel or two along just in case there’s a mess that requires immediate cleaning up.
Read MoreOver the weekend my wife and I took a one-night trip to West Palm Beach to take in a Green Day concert and get one night of uninterrupted sleep. As we were walking into the amphitheater, I couldn't help but notice that I was the only one who had printed my tickets on card stock. Pretty embarrassing for everyone else. As it turns out, though, while card stock is undeniably classy, it is a bit hard to fold up and store after entry. Luckily, my shirt had a handy breast pocket that was perfect for the job!
Read More“Daddy! Daddy! DADDY!!” my 5-year-old exclaims from his perch in the back seat of our car.
“Yes, bud. What?” I finally reply. We are in the middle of a one-sided conversation about our impromptu trip to the fruit and vegetable stand and I am a little annoyed I have to respond since I have been listening to an uninterrupted monologue for several minutes.
“Is it going to be beautiful there?”
Read MoreIn retrospect, perhaps I should have known that this particular morning was going to be different.
Read MoreI came across a story on Twitter in the aftermath of Charlottesville. I took screen grabs of it so you can read the thread in full. As you'll see, it starts out with "Hey everyone I'm a clown." Of course, after reading the first phrase I was completely in on the story no matter what it was going to be. The fact that she followed it up with "and here's my take on male violence in America" was icing on the cake.
Read MoreAn interview with author James Breakwell (aka Exploding Unicorn) about his forthcoming book...and zombies.
Read MoreOur oldest child, Jacob, recently started kindergarten. As you might expect, it has been the main event in our household and the driving force behind our daily schedule. Where our mornings used to be a slow, often unpredictable and messy morass of waking, dozing, eating, and sometimes returning to bed or falling back to sleep on various pieces of furniture between the hours of five and eight, we now operate with military-like precision. Well, maybe military-like precision is overstating it a little, but we have made it to school on time for the first seven days!
Read MoreMy wife and I met for the first time in person on this day nine years ago. However, we met online several months before that on Facebook (thanks Mark Zuckerber).
Read MoreIn addition to fishing and boating, another of my passions as a child was busting signs. What? You know, busting signs! Those big paper banners that high school cheerleaders paint “Go Team” or whatever on that the football team charges through as they enter the field. Busting signs.
Read MoreMy oldest child starts kindergarten this week. As you might imagine, I'm pretty conflicted. I'm excited for him and I know that he's ready. And to be honest, the summer has been long and hot and demoralizing at times and I know a little bit of space and time apart will be good for all of us. Three kids under age six stewing together under one roof for months on end is a volatile recipe. But still, I'm apprehensive.
Read MoreI finally got the chance to share two of my greatest passions, fishing and boating, with my boys. And, even better, we knocked both activities out in the span of a couple hours. A father's dream fulfilled!
Read MoreIt was an ordinary evening in small-town Americana when the car arrived. The pre-twilight air was damp and heavy after the rains. The sun was just dropping below the trees in the west when the truck, carrying a resplendent blue Buick sedan, pulled up in front of the house.
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